Friday, February 27, 2009

Gold Diggers

Today’s Annoyance: Women who won’t admit they are gold diggers

Mantra of the Day: You know who you are!


Amy Winehouse (my girl) has this song on her first album called “F*ck Me Pumps” that chronicles the trials and tribulations of the classic gold digger in her late twenties who knows she does not have much time left in her career of chasing men to get a promotion, i.e. a blindingly huge ring. I decided a long time ago that I would save myself the trouble of marrying a rich man by channeling my energy into making myself independently wealthy. Don’t get me wrong, I clearly love the finer things in life, I am just not willing to put my fate into someone else’s hands and hope that their generosity never ends. That was a conscious decision on my part, but I have come across enough women who are on the other side of the fence to understand their plight.


That said, it does bother me – no, it pisses me off when I see women falling over themselves at the prospect of interacting with a guy who has a bit of cash in the bank. The thing that gets me is that when you talk to these women, they are constantly complaining about dating and why they can’t manage to land a man. To me, this comes off as belly aching about your job. No job is perfect and has its own occupational hazards. Theirs is that they come across more assholes than there are grains of sand at the beach. They say that they don’t like players but they wouldn’t mind marrying an attractive millionaire. They would never date an athlete, but they want a rich man who is over 6 foot 2. Umm…okay. If they would only admit that they are only interested in spending time with men who have money so that they can get that endless shopping spree to impress all of their friends, they might have better luck catching what they are chasing after.


[IMAGE: Courtesy of Getty Images]




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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Jet set on a budget

Today’s Annoyance: Pessimism

Mantra of the Day: The recession will not kill my dreams.


To my fellow jet setters and jet-setter-wannabes, do not dismay. This economic downturn does not have to clip your wings. As I plan my ongoing travels, I will definitely keep you posted on any great deals that I find.


First up, Ethiopian Airlines is offering a “buy one, get one free” special. Through March 31, if you buy a ticket to any of the airline’s 32 destination cities, a companion can travel for free. Of course, there are a few restrictions but seriously, this is a cool deal.


I’m sure there are more deals like this to come as the airlines, hotels, restaurants and other retailers struggle to survive. I promise to keep you posted. If you have any related news or deals, please share them with me. Peace, love and continued jet setting.



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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Missing Muffin

Today’s Annoyance: The Credit Crunch

Mantra of the Day: It’ll all get better in time. - Leona Lewis

This morning, I went through my daily routine to Wall Street on my way to the office. Grabbed a Financial Times from my local newsstand, took the short cut through the park then, stopped off to buy my favorite breakfast muffin and the best cup of coffee in town. When I got to the muffin shop, I was shocked to find the door locked and a sign on the door saying, “We have closed due to the credit crisis.” Can you believe it! I was so thrown off that I did not know what to do. I felt like a lost child who did not know where to go next. I knew that there was another place about a block away where I could get breakfast, and there is the guy on the corner with the cart, but there is something about that guy that just seems unsavory.


I am so sick of this credit crunch I don’t even know what to say. Yes, like every good New Yorker, I have done my part. I finally took my shoes out of the oven and turned it on to make dinner the other day. (When I bought the place, my real estate agent advertised the appliance as “extra storage space.”) This though is too much. My muffin was the singular daily indulgence in an otherwise busy stress-filled day. Is that too much to ask? Even with my cutting back, I still made sure to support my local merchants because I know that there is no bailout package for them. Well, I’ve got to run. I’m still hungry and starting to get a headache.


[IMAGE: Courtesy of Getty Images]



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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Hot wheels

Today’s Annoyance: Speeding scooters and strollers
Mantra of the Day: Maybe I should get walking insurance.

We really need special pathways for those senior/disabled scooters. I’m waiting to see the first manslaughter lawsuit against someone in a scooter. I have had to jump out of the way on several occasions to avoid losing a limb (or my life!) to someone on a mobility scooter. Slow down, granny! That thing’s not a weapon. Should we require a license, too? Hmmm, ok, maybe not, but some precautions need to be taken.


And you stroller pushers are no better. Watch it with those things…you could hurt somebody, and I’m not talking about the kid.

[IMAGE: Courtesy of Getty Images]


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Monday, February 23, 2009

The Oscars

Today’s Annoyance: Visually challenged celebrity stylists
Mantra of the Day: Today is my Red Carpet moment

In light of the current economic downturn I was more into the Oscars this year than usual. I got together with a few friends and ate junk food before we rolled up our sleeves to play fashion police. The red carpet went pretty smoothly this year. There weren’t any arrests made but there were a few citations given. Whoopi Goldberg’s leopard print dress probably should have stayed in the jungle where she found it, but then again, she did make an effort and wear a proper dress to the event which was out of her comfort zone, so she still gets an honorable mention.


Now on to the good stuff… Angelina Jolie looked absolutely amazing. Her dress not only suited her perfectly but was a gorgeous piece just on its own. In my book she won best dressed for the evening, hands down. Then there was Penelope Cruz. Even though she did not get my best dressed, she was definitely in the top five. (It was so hard to choose because mostly everyone looked great.) I love Penelope in general because no matter where she gets spotted, she always looks effortlessly elegant, intelligent, sexy and seems to have a deep personality. She had the most endearing acceptance speech and reminded people to never lose their focus when chasing after their dreams. More importantly, it seemed that she was genuinely ecstatic to be honored by her peers. Hats off to you lovely!


[IMAGE: Courtesy of SmashGods.com]



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Friday, February 20, 2009

I have found the perfect home

Today’s Annoyance: People who believe everything they see on TV, even fictional programs.

Mantra of the Day: A perfect match: me, George Clooney and Lake Como



Look at it…isn’t it lovely? And it’s on an isle, no less. It was (sniff, sniff), made for me. The only thing left to do is kick out the current occupants. What’s that, you say? I could just buy it? True, but I think it be more fun for me to just go in and take over. I’ll invite you over for tea once it’s mine.


Anyhoo, this lovely place, called Villa del Balbianello, is in Lake Como, which is in Lombardy, Italy, where I went with a few friends. From the pic, you can see why gorgeous people like George Clooney live there. Admittedly, my friends and I looked for George but didn’t see him while we were there. :o(

We stayed at a hotel in Cernobbio that was really cool, with the exception of its scary, scary pool that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned since…since…well, I’m not sure it had ever been cleaned. Next time, we’re staying at Villa d’Este!!


And, she’s off!!

[IMAGE: Courtesy of Global Jet Set Media, Inc.]



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Thursday, February 19, 2009

Jetsetter Toys

Today’s Annoyance: Heavy luggage
Mantra of the Day: Compact, cute and portable

I just got this new little toy called Aspire One by Acer that I am super excited about. I am always on the road but I have to continue working in between having fun, so I fo
und this 2.2 pound computer that has a 160GB hard drive and a web conferencing center that includes a webcam, microphones and software. There are even Aspire One models that you can have added to your AT&T wireless data plan just like a Blackberry and you get automatic wireless connections wherever you get cell phone service. Then there is my favorite feature: It comes in sapphire blue, coral pink, seashell white, golden brown or black. It is the cutest accessory that you can write off that I have ever seen.



I got so sick of carrying around my big heavy laptop. After a while I thought I was about to have a hernia from lugging that thing all over the world. This thing is actually designed for jet-setters who need to stay connected (or just like to seem busy) while on the road. It has an 8.9 inch screen which means that it can fit into most handbags. After getting this new gadget, I might even think of getting rid of my “Crackberry”.


Ta ta for now sweeties!


[IMAGE: Courtesy of laptoppimp.com]




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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

No waiting on aisle 2!

Today’s Annoyance: Habitual tardiness

Mantra of the Day: You’ve got 15 minutes then, I’m gone.


I have a habit of taking a book with me wherever I go. Although I have gotten used to waiting at least a few minutes when I’m meeting with people – for business or for pleasure – I am still amazed at how often people are late and how they handle it.


Being late is practically synonymous with living in big cities. There’s traffic, bad weather, previous meetings that run late, and sudden accidents. These are things that are typically beyond our control. Then, there is the host of unacceptable reasons for habitual tardiness – poor time management, forgetfulness (use a calendar, damn it!), and giant egos (“Let them wait.”).


Being late isn’t an absolute deal breaker for me; stuff happens. Besides, I’ve been late before. (Just once, but that was years ago…) But, if you are going to be late, be courteous about it. (Emily Post, we really need you right now!) Call ahead (or text the person, if it’s a casual acquaintance) to let them know that you’re running behind. Oh, an apology might be nice, too. You know…’cause time is money. Waste my time and that’s money down the drain! And seriously, the habitual part sucks. No one is so important that they’re always running late. If I can be on time, you, mere mortal, have no excuse!


To minimize my wasted time, I employ 2 rules: I always take a book to read and I allow 15 minutes for the person to either call or show up. If I don’t hear from them or see them within 15 minutes, I’m out. If I’m at home, I start making other plans. Naturally, this doesn’t work so well with service people. You know, the phone or cable company that gives you some stupid 4 to 8 hour window when they’re supposed to show up. And of course I can’t forget the doctor’s office. Has anyone EVER actually seen a doctor at the scheduled time?


You’re probably thinking, why not just chat with a friend on the phone while I’m waiting? Seems like an easy enough option. Except for the fact that I hate phones, for the most part, and prefer to use them only when absolutely necessary and always while I’m doing something else (other than waiting!). You see, for me, talking on the phone is another time waster.


You must have stories. So tell me…. Ciao!



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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Do you work here?

Today’s Annoyance: Holier than thou sales clerks
Mantra of the Day: I'm the one with the money.

I know that I might have talked about this before, but this topic definitely needs repeating. Have I mentioned that I hate snotty sales clerks? It seems like the more money you are spending, the ruder they get. This is something that I need to work on personally, but if I encounter an unexpected asshole, at say the perfume counter, it can ruin my whole day. I try to be nice as a policy but sometimes these people pull my inner bitch out faster than I can ask “How much?”


The other day I was in a high-end designer boutique, which shall remain nameless. I was feeling like treating myself to something cute and I walked in knowing what I wanted already. I could have robbed the store blind because there was no one to be seen in the place. I took my item and a gorgeous little pump to look for someone who could help me. The sales people were all huddled in the backroom busy chatting, laughing and paying me no attention. Only after waving my arms in the air did they notice me standing there. I told them I wanted to purchase the one item and try on the pumps in my size. The woman took the shoe without a word, looked me up and down saying, 'Do you realize how much these cost? Are you sure you can afford them?" Shocked and trying to hold my inner bitch steady, I said, "Yes, seven and a half." She brought the shoe box, dropped it on the floor by my feet and walked away to continue her conversation with her co-worker.

I coolly walked over, cleared my voice and with one clean swoop knocked over a display of belts onto the floor. "Oops, did I do that? Now, do your job and clean it up." I then sashayed my shante right out the door and don't think I'll go back again.

Let me know if you ever let your inner bitch run free or had an encounter like mine. See you tomorrow!

[IMAGE: Courtesy of Getty Images]


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Monday, February 16, 2009

Who decides what is "age appropriate"?

Today’s Annoyance: Bad taste

Mantra of the Day: I’ll wear what I want and you’ll like it!


Should a 60-year-old wear a mini skirt? Should babies ever wear suits? How about men over 50 wearing skin-tight shirts, or pre-teens wearing stilettos? Should women of a certain age no longer wear their hair long? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Who gets to decide though? Society, perhaps? Screw society! Who are “they” anyway? No, I’m not kidding; who are they?


I’m always amazed when I hear someone say that something is or is not “age appropriate”? I was shopping in Santorini, Greece with this really fabulous South African woman who was in her 70s. She reminds me a lot of Jackie O in her later years. Anyway, she mentioned to me that she needed to have her hair cut because it was “far too long for a woman of her age”. OK, I can see why the sight of grandma in a mini might be a bit chilling but why on Earth is long hair age inappropriate for a more mature woman? I seriously want to know where these unwritten rules come from because some of them seem pretty stupid.


I’m much less concerned about age-appropriateness than I am about general clothing crimes. Here are a few rules that I think should be made into laws and heavily enforced:


* No exposed underwear! If I see one more exposed thong or some guy’s pants belted below his boxer shorts, I just might start screaming. (Punishment – daily wedgies for guys and granny panties for the ladies.)

* Anyone who pays large sums of money to look unkempt should be made to wear the clothing of an unwashed homeless person. Forever.

* Anyone who wears Crocs (and I mean, anyone!) and people who pair Ugg boots with shorts should be forced to wear Hobbit feet (think “Lord of the Rings”).


You know I want to hear from you!



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Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentine's Day

Today's Annoyance: Valentine’s Day in general

Mantra of the Day: Be happy that you have a Valentine


So this is the deal. I’ve got this quasi boyfriend named Lucky. We used to be a hot and heavy item, but now we could be classified in the "undefined" category. It’s a long story and it’s complicated, so just trust me here. Anyway, yesterday I had this box arrive on my doorstep from France. By the way, Lucky is European royalty, a true prince. Really, I’m not making this shit up. Again, it’s complicated. So I open it up and it is a pre-assembled Lego kit/miniature sculpture thingy in the shape of the Taj Mahal. In the card it said, “This is a monument to our love.”

I think most people would expect that if you date a prince you would get gifts like diamonds, cars, trips… just not a Lego set. Point being, I can’t figure out whether I think this is cute and romantic or childish and a bit lame. Should he live up to the stereotype and bling me out, or be a cute and simple guy? What are your thoughts on the matter? And while you are at it, what is the lamest gift you have ever gotten from that someone special? I am dying to hear your take on this. At the very least, I am sure that at least one of you can make me laugh. Either way, the jury is still out on this one kids…


Bizzzzzzzzz,

Ava


[IMAGE: Courtesy of iconocast.com]



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Thursday, February 12, 2009

Dating on vacation

Today's Annoyance: Keeping up with dating etiquette
Mantra of the Day: I am a woman of the 21st century.

I just got off the phone with my friend Eddy (Edwina) who came back from vacation in Brazil the other day. She was telling me about her trip and how she started dating a guy who she met while she was there. It sounded like they had great fun, with him showing her around Bahia and her having a cute partner in crime to do it with. But this is my question to you, dating while on vacation: a ‘do’ or a ‘don’t’?

I understand that sometimes people like to spice up their trips by having a meaningless fling, but I am talking about dating. Going out, spending time with a guy with the intent of getting to know him. Previously, I wrote an entry about maintaining some semblance of a routine while traveling, but my gut is telling me that this is taking that concept to a new level. On one hand, it must be fun and adventurous to meet a handsome stranger who shows you the true beauty of the place you are visiting, but then again there are a lot of freaks out there. My New Yorker instincts start to kick in, telling me that might not be the smartest idea; you might end up with an unexpected souvenir, if you know what I mean. Am I just being old fashioned? Let me know your thoughts.

Love and Peace,

Ava

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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Worst pickup lines ever

Today’s Annoyance: Overconfidence

Mantra of the Day: Just leave me alone. – Michael Jackson


Rich or poor, educated or uneducated, American or European (or any other nationality, for that matter), guys can come up with some crazy pickup lines. Some guys choose to do something wild to get a woman’s attention. My prince, for example, opted to surprise in the most interesting way, after we met at a party. (I won’t reveal the specifics; you’ll have to wait on the book for that.) Having joined the jet set scene, I’ve noticed the same level of awkwardness at one extreme and arrogance at the other extreme.


Apparently, “Hi, my name is…” is either too easy or too difficult. Admittedly, like many other women, I like for a guy to be creative but some of the things that I’ve heard are way over the top. How about these?:


Your parents must be retarded, because you’re special.

Can I flirt with you?

The last time I saw you, I was dreaming.

You’re so hot, when I look at you I get a tan.


Yeah, they’re pretty bad. Naturally, if the guy’s really hot, you’ll give him some leeway. But, there is still a line. Undoubtedly, some of your experiences may humor me while others might make me want to beat some guys across the head. Do tell.



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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Travel vs. Routine

Today's Annoyance: People who don’t understand NY coffee speak
Mantra of the Day: I am a fabulous jet-setter

As you know, I have been traveling a lot lately. There is one thing that has its drawbacks to living life as a jet-setter, and that is getting thrown off of your routine. In my day-to-day life, I am a hard worker; I try to take care of myself and I have certain daily activities that brighten up my day. For example, I love to stop by my local coffee shop and say hello to the owners, a good-looking gay couple named Jake and Robert. They always have something funny to say and offer up their insightful opinions on current affairs. I usually like to start my day off with a run and end it with a walk along the Hudson River.

Yes, I feel privileged to have these wonderful experiences and I know that it will make me appreciate home so much more when I get back there, but even these little things throw me off. First I stop working out, then I start eating whatever passes in front of me, then I go out to parties and “overindulge”… You get my point; it’s just a slippery slope.

At the end of the day, my question to you is: Which is better? Staying at home and enjoying the controlled life that you have created for yourself, or leaving your comfort zone to explore new adventures? They both have their pluses and minuses, but I can’t decide which I prefer. Post a comment and let me know what you think.

xox … Ava
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Monday, February 9, 2009

Vegas, baby!

Today’s Annoyance: Thinking that less is more.
Mantra of the Day
:
Too much of a good thing is won-der-ful. - Mae West

Steve Wynn is my hero. In the land of excess, the King of the Vegas Strip always manages to take things to the next level, in the best possible way. (For my uninformed readers, Mr. Wynn is the casino resort developer behind The Mirage, Treasure Island, Bellagio, Wynn and Encore on the Las Vegas Strip.) His newly-opened Encore is stunning, to say the least. The décor features the most incredible light fixtures; there’s a Ferrari dealership in the resort; and there are butterflies everywhere, all of which are some of my favorite things!

So, me and the girls went to the campiest place on Earth last week for fun, food and fa
shion. Where else can you choose from dozens of all-you-can-eat buffets, shop ‘til you drop, walk down the street drinking a 3-foot tall margarita, gamble nearly anywhere and see a different show featuring scantily-clad dancers every night? Vegas is one of those love-it or hate-it places. When you’re with your alcohol-induced crew, it’s hard not to love it, especially when you have a little money to toss around. Suffice it to say that we gambled, drank, shopped, and partied like there was no tomorrow.

We even spent a few hours one afternoon visiting the museum of the late great “King of Bling”, Liberace. If this man was not the perfect representation for Vegas, I don’t know who or what is. My eyeballs are still stinging from the sequins, Swarovski crystals, and bright colors in his cars, pianos, clothes, and shoes. (I made the horrid mistake of leaving my sunglasses in the car.) In comparison to him, I also feel much less feminine. I do feel inspired though; the man lived life to its absolute fullest. We could all learn something from Vegas royalty. The sky isn’t the limit; the limit is where I say it is.

Make it happen, people!

[IMAGES: Courtesy of vegasblog.latimes.com and liberace.org]


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Friday, February 6, 2009

Have you checked out my new sounds?

Today’s Annoyance: Stress

Mantra of the Day: Chill with me.


For your listening pleasure, I’ve added a Finetune playlist of 45 songs. (See, it’s in the right column, under my cute little pic.) Artists include Seal, Thievery Corporation, Jill Scott, Maroon 5, Sneaker Pimps, Moby, Sade, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Lenny Kravitz, Everything But the Girl, Massive Attack, Black Eyed Peas, Amy Winehouse, and more. What do you think? Send me your suggestions for chill out songs. And stop stressing; whatever it is, it’s probably not that deep.


Peace out.



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Thursday, February 5, 2009

Lipstick Trader

Today's Annoyance: Being unprepared
Mantra of the Day: Don't hate the player or the game. It's wasted energy.

So you all know that I am new to this jet-setting thing. It really is a way of life that you have to prepare yourself for. The other day I was reading an interview with Madonna's personal trainer where she said that a big part of her job is getting the 1st Bitch of Pop fit for yes, jet-setting. The trainer claimed that it was very important that the celebrity
be extremely fit for all of her jetting around the world to different time zones on minimal rest. It makes sense I guess, but I never knew that there was a physical training program for jet-setting, or as I like to say, being an adult spoiled brat. Really that is what we are, grown up spoiled brats; just don't hate because you don't get pampered on a regular basis. The term "jet-setter" just sounds better.

Anyway, I wish that someone had a training program for my wallet for this lifestyle. Obviously I have done alright for myself to be in this position in the first place, but maintaining can be a bitch. Luckily I can work on the road because I am what I like to call a "Lipstick Trader." I am fashionable and take care of myself, but I can still kick your ass in a logarithmic showdown. I'm more an undercover nerd, but then again who said that smart chicks can't turn heads...xox


[IMAGE: Courtesy of iStockPhoto.com]
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