Thursday, January 29, 2009

There’s a special place in hell for terrible travelers

Today’s Annoyance: Pigs on planes

Mantra of the Day: A Gulfstream 550 is in my future.


I recently read an article about terrible travelers. You know, those stinky, sloppy people who may or may not have ill-mannered young children with them. They’re notorious for whining, treating the flight attendants like slaves, snoring (often with their mouths hanging wide open), eating like savages, leaving the toilets in an unmentionable condition, bringing stinky food on board, chatting far too much (especially on lengthy flights…shut up already!), and refusing to chastise their rowdy offspring. Oh, and I can’t leave out the ones who try to take all of their worldly possessions onto the plane and spend the entire flight removing and replacing items from the overhead bins. I have vowed that when I take over the world, there will be special flights, just for these people. Maybe if they’d have to endure a plane filled with nothing but ill-mannered, smelly ingrates with loud, obnoxious kids, they’d think twice about their travel manners in the future.


And the upper class travelers are no better than the folks in coach. Have you ever taken a look at the business and first-class cabins when you “de-plane”? It looks like a pig sty. Um, why? “Flight attendant” does not mean “servant”, you assholes! It is unimaginable how flight attendants deal with these yokels. There is no amount that you could pay me! I honestly think that planes should come with special ejection pods for these people. All other travelers on the plane would get to vote them off, just like on those reality shows. I’ll bet that would change things.


What’s your worst experience with terrible travelers?



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