I've come to realize that when all hell breaks loose in life, it helps to vent. Retail therapy is better but venting is less expensive! What am I venting about, you ask? Anything and everything...men, money, travel, fashion, stupid people...
So, hang out awhile and enjoy the adventures of a fictional “IT” girl. You just might learn a few things. And feel free to let off some steam of your own. I'm happy to share my soapbox with you. Peace and love, Ava
Today's Annoyance: People who don’t know how to dress themselves Mantra of the Day: I don’t see age, I just see fashion.
At what age should someone hang up their dancing shoes? I used to think that at some point, I would just grow out of wanting to go out on the town for a night of getting down until my feet couldn’t take it anymore. Then there is the point that, for appearances sake, the only proper thing to do is to willingly retire your happy feet when you reach a certain age, because old people shaking their groove thang just isn’t cute anymore.
I confess that I might not be 19 anymore but I still like to get out there and show what I’ve got from time to time, but there is a way to do it. For starters, if you are in your mid to late thirties, please do not wear your 13-year-old niece’s party outfit. Also, please do not re-enact your behavior from college spring break in Mexico; trust me, it wasn’t cute then, and it’s really not cute now.
Once I was out with my girlfriends huddled around a small table in a nightclub when we saw a tragic fashion victim saunter out of the bathroom. She was wearing a short black mini skirt and red tube top combo that was about thirty pounds over its weight limit. Just as we caught our breath about the situation, a much younger girl dressed in an identical ensemble came bouncing out of the restroom, running after her mother. Do you see what I mean by, ‘so not cute’? There is certainly a way to go about having a good time with dignity and class. I just ask that you not be that woman!
Mantra of the Day: A Gulfstream 550 is in my future.
I recently read an article about terrible travelers.You know, those stinky, sloppy people who may or may not have ill-mannered young children with them.They’re notorious for whining, treating the flight attendants like slaves, snoring (often with their mouths hanging wide open), eating like savages, leaving the toilets in an unmentionable condition, bringing stinky food on board, chatting far too much (especially on lengthy flights…shut up already!), and refusing to chastise their rowdy offspring.Oh, and I can’t leave out the ones who try to take all of their worldly possessions onto the plane and spend the entire flight removing and replacing items from the overhead bins.I have vowed that when I take over the world, there will be special flights, just for these people.Maybe if they’d have to endure a plane filled with nothing but ill-mannered, smelly ingrates with loud, obnoxious kids, they’d think twice about their travel manners in the future.
And the upper class travelers are no better than the folks in coach.Have you ever taken a look at the business and first-class cabins when you “de-plane”?It looks like a pig sty.Um, why?“Flight attendant” does not mean “servant”, you assholes! It is unimaginable how flight attendants deal with these yokels.There is no amount that you could pay me!I honestly think that planes should come with special ejection pods for these people.All other travelers on the plane would get to vote them off, just like on those reality shows.I’ll bet that would change things.
What’s your worst experience with terrible travelers?
Today's Annoyance: Pessimists Mantra of the Day: Get with the program!
I am proud once again to say that I am an American.I, like millions of other people, went to WashingtonD.C. to witness the swearing in of the 44th president of the United States of America, Barack Obama.That was such a special, magical day, the likes of which I don’t think that I will ever experience again.To be at the center of a global celebration where there is no separation between you, me or the world has never happened before, as far as I know.For the many people present at the event, there was not a single protestor or feeling of angst that another candidate should have won.Everyone was united in their happiness to leave the past behind them and collectively have a fresh start – a start to make things better.
We are so proud as a nation and proud as a people for what we can do and the conduits of positive change that can affect the world around us. Watching President Obama and his beautiful family reminded me of all the possibilities that are out there for everyone if we only focus our energy on the opportunities that lay before us.Just a few thoughts for day…
Mantra of the Day:Be grateful for what you have, whatever it is
Eddy just got back from an amazing trip to Ethiopia.I know; you don’t hear that destination everyday, right?But one of her friends decided to have her wedding in her home country and Eddy, like me, can never resist an invitation to…travel.(I’ll bet you thought I was going to say “a wedding”.Gotcha!)
Prior to Eddy’s departure, we were both shocked at the number of people who thought that there were no cars, restaurants or running water in Ethiopia.Granted, it’s one of the poorest countries in the world but how could these so-called “educated” people actually be that dumb?Even if you don’t travel a lot or know anyone from Ethiopia, try reading a book or, dare I say it, surf the Internet to learn something so you don’t insult people and sound like a complete idiot.
It almost goes without saying that Eddy had a good time.(I honestly think the woman could have a good time hanging out in a cardboard box.)Since Ethiopia is one of the few places in the world where the American dollar still has a slight bit of value, she shopped like there was no tomorrow buying gorgeous jewelry and scarves and she got dirt-cheap massages everyday.(There’s also something awesome called a Moroccan bath.Hmmm…sounds interesting.)She even had a custom-designed, traditional Ethiopian dress made at a shop called El Shaddai.It was super-inexpensive, especially in comparison to what a custom-made dress would cost in the U.S.
She did experience a little bit of culture shock though.On the one hand, the poverty was a little bit overwhelming, like nothing she had ever experienced before.There were farm animals herded along main streets and loads of people begging.On the other hand, she was amazed at the beauty and dignity of the people and their exceptionally warm spirit, in spite of what they lacked in basic needs and material possessions.She stayed at the Sheraton Addis and during her nearly two-week stay, she traveled to the hot springs in a resort town called Sodore, which is about a 2-hour drive outside of Addis Ababa.
Eddy’s recount of her trip made me curious about the country and its people; it also made me realize that dignity and respectability have nothing to do with material possessions.No matter what you have, be grateful, damn it!
Today’s Annoyance: Paparazzi Mantra of the Day: Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Okay, so I have put this off long enough. It’s time that I get real and let you know what is going on in my life. That is what everyone wants to know these days, so I might as well step out in front of the rumors and get the story straight.
I’ve been doing some part-time work with a hedge fund in the south of France. Jeez, I can’t remember the last time that I worked for someone else, but there are a lot of things that were new to me when I got to the Riviera.
Like dating a prince, for instance. There have been rumors flying around about what will happen between me and Jean-Luc (or Lucky, as everyone calls him), like if we will get married, if he is faithful or if I will go back to my Tom (my husband). (Did I mention the fact that I am kinda-sorta married?) It is because of him that my life was thrown into the spotlight overseas.
Everyday, there are pictures of me in the French tabloids saying to that I am doing this and that…because of the dating-a-prince thing. Well, if I am perfectly honest, I don’t really know what they are saying because I don’t speak French. (Note to self: I need to learn French ASAP.)
Anyway, I am moving to Monaco, Monte Carlo! At least, for a month or two with Edwina (or “Eddy” for short), my best grad school friend. She is an ‘IT’ party girl from London and part of the city’s social elite. Her parents have an apartment in Monaco that they don’t use most of the year, so we will hang out there until they decide to come down South. Supposedly, it is harder for the paparazzi to get into the principality and do what they do. I’m not saying that I hate to have my picture taken; that is not the problem. I just have an issue with the shit that they write about me afterwards. Based on these rags, I get regular phone calls from my parents asking me if I am:
A) going through a midlife crisis B) divorcing my husband C) pregnant by a playboy D) beating up random women in night clubs in a jealous rage because my princely boyfriend is cheating on me…again; and/or E) if I’m doing drugs
I don’t think that my life will ever be the same after having moved to the French Riviera. Then again, I wouldn’t change my life for anything in the world because the bad times made way for the best of times. Whatever. I can’t deal so I am getting out of dodge (New York, that is).
For more on my crazy love life, follow the blog entries labeled "The Chronicles".
Big up to my bitches.Yeah, I said it – I love my bitches. I know that they/we can be a bit catty sometimes, but at the end of the day there is nothing like hanging with your girls.I am back in NYC and my friend Eddy is in town visiting me from London.She is about as urbanized and British as they come, so being in the Big Apple for her is like a fish swimming in water.The past couple of days we have been hanging out at different spots around the city like Fig and Olive in the Meat Packing District and the Soy Luck Club in The Village.Mainly we talk about life, what we are doing and where we are going; nothing too monumental, but at the same time it feels like we are solving all of the world’s problems over tea.Point being, it is so nice to be able to take time to put life into prospective.So often I get caught up in my career, relationships with men, money (and the pursuit of it) that I forget the importance of the people around me.They are my true treasures.
What makes things even better is when you are surrounded by women with strong, powerful spirits.Women that you can’t help but look up to; take Eddy, for example.Not that she has everything in her life figured out yet, but she is so vivacious and bold.She is never afraid to be herself in any situation.On top of that, she is smart, funny and knows how to have a good time.There is nothing quite like being around a person who drives your spirit and challenges you to tackle life head on.
Today’s Annoyance: Bad fashion that keeps coming back
Mantra of the Day:Somebody, please make it stop
It was an awesome event.Sam had invited me to the most amazing fashion show.I borrowed a salmon-colored Herve Leger bandage tank dress from a friend’s closet and I even had one of my guy pal’s who’s an image consultant and makeup artist do my makeup.No, no.Don’t hold your applause.‘Cause your girl Ava was looking awesome!Anyhoo, we had great seats (as though one could actually have a bad seat at this kind of fashion show).The music was amazing, the vibe was great, everyone was beautiful.(Or was it just the two glasses of wine that I had?)
Lo and behold, what do I spy coming down the catwalk?!No…yes, my eyesight is perfect (well, at least it was until I saw this)…no, it can’t be!Ladies and gentleman, harem pants are back.(sigh)I don’t know whether to be sad or mad.Sam noticed my distress and fanned me.“I know, sweetie,” he said.Let’s just hope this fad doesn’t hold on as long as hip hugger jeans have.”
Admittedly, I did see a pair of Tory Burch harem pants that weren’t so bad.It’s just that I had truly hoped that MC Hammer had destroyed any variation of this fad for all eternity.I guess this confirms the saying that there is truly nothing new in this world.Could it be that innovation is merely a figment of our imagination?Sound off and let me know if you’re digging this revival or not.
Today’s Annoyance: Playing by the rules Mantra of the Day: Carpe Diem
Question: When is it okay, or is it okay, to date someone who was previously involved with a friend? For example, if you have a friend who liked a guy and it turned out that the guy liked you instead, is he fair game even though nothing happened between him and the friend but she called him first? Or, what if it is the ex of a friend? How long of a cooling off period do you give before you can get lucky? Or, is he totally off limits for life? Just for the record, I have been on both sides of the coin and know that it is not fun to have something like that happen to you so I always try to be considerate of others. That being said, a girl still has to live her life, right?
So let’s juice things up a bit and let me tell you why I am asking. I mentioned the other day that my friend Eddy is in town visiting for a few days. She has another friend that she knows from college who lives here in the city and is currently hot and heavy with a guy who once had a serious fling with Eddy. The guy and Eddy were clearly never meant to be, but Eddy still feels like her college buddy should have kept her hands off of him since she knew about their storied past before they ever got together. Needless to say, Eddy had no idea that the two were together until she came to NYC. Now Eddy is pissed, seeing red in fact. I think that she is going a bit overboard with this whole thing, but then again, I never knew the proper etiquette in these types of situations to start with.
Either way, I am desperate on this one people, so help me out! Post a comment and let me know what you think.
Today’s Annoyance: People who walk down the street with their mouths open.
Mantra of the Day: I’m not your bitch; don’t lay your shit on me. - Madonna
I have to say that on most days I consider myself a very nice and normal person, but there is still that part of me that is neurotic.Like most New Yorkers, I love the way that they city breathes, the way that it is always alive and never sleeps, but also like most New Yorkers, I get easily annoyed when outsiders come and try to mess things up.If there is one thing that New York has, it’s lots of outsiders to mess things up, and that might be where that whole reputation for having an attitude comes into play.
For example, if I am walking down the street; just like the road, people should walk on the right hand side.It is after all, the American way. (I did not, by the way, make the rules.)You should also refrain from touching other people that you do not know, and if you are the type who likes to get their thrills from the little things in life such as this, do so at your own risk.At the very least, try to provide your fellow pedestrians with two feet of personal space.
Then, why is it that people choose not to obey these rules?It is so simple, no?Instead, you’ve got people deciding to take the proverbial law into their own hands and walk on the left side of the sidewalk.Okay, one offense, fine.But don’t try to bring your group of five friends walking in a horizontal phalanx into your mini revolution with you.No, fuck that.You need to break up the mob or at least form a single file line to let others pass by.You do not own the city nor did you rent it.I don’t even think that you could afford to buy a single paving stone to walk on.
There are also those women (and some men!) who have lost all self control in the Giuseppe Zanotti store and have more bags in their hands than any sane person should carry at once.They are usually in a panic to get home and reexamine their booty (the one they bought, not the one gained by eating frosting home alone on a Saturday night). Naturally, they’re preoccupied with a phone call in which they’re telling their bffs about their loot.Along the way, they bump into nearly everyone within a few yards with all of their bags.No “excuse me”, no “oops, I’m sorry”.In fact, if you give them attitude, they look at you as though you’re in violation for trying to share the sidewalk with them and their glorious shopping bags.
Then there is the matter of trying to chase a cab in high heels.You’re crossing the street, ready for a showdown with your heels and the cabbie.He is anxiously creeping forward, while you, outwardly confident and striding across the street, think to yourself, ‘I can make it, I can make it before the light changes’, but you know that you really can’t.So you pretend to run, in a fake run/jog. (Right, like that is going to make things better.)You know better than that, but you try it anyway.Will we ever learn?
I’m out of time but would love to hear your stories on sidewalk rage.Ciao for now.
Today’s Annoyance: People who fake it and never make it.
Mantra of the Day: I am flawed yet fabulous.
Just so we’re clear, I was not born rich.Yes, I exude fabulousness, but you don’t need money to do that.When I was growing up, I always believed that I was a rich girl trapped in a middle class girl’s body.Thanks to years of paying my dues on Wall Street, I now have a teeny bit of disposable income (much less than before, thanks to the lovely little financial meltdown down that the global markets are experiencing!).
Now that we have that out of the way…I’m really enjoying adapting to the jet set lifestyle.High fashion, lots and lots of private parties and other fab events, and the coolest thing of them all, is traveling!!!
Admittedly, I’m regularly reminded of my rank as an outsider among my true socialite pals.There’s the occasional dining disaster like this one time when I was at this really posh restaurant and I had a scallop fly off my fork and land on a nearby table.Nice, huh?And, of course, there’s my sometimes questionable ability to walk in stilettos.As much as I love them, they don’t always seem to love me back.Once, when I was rushing down the street, talking on my cell phone, my heel got stuck in a manhole cover and it took me a few minutes to get my shoe out. Lovely.If I’m going to stop traffic, I’d prefer it happen for my looks.Suffice it to say that I’m learning to live the jet set life but I’ll never be one of those women who can sashay effortlessly in 5-inch heels while talking on the phone, even while drunk.
Today’s Annoyance: Birthday haters Mantra of the Day: Happy birthday to me!!
Did you know that some of the coolest people in history were born in January? Oprah Winfrey, J.R.R. Tolkien, Christy Turlington, Michael Schumacher (Formula 1 rocks!), Kahlil Gibran, Joan of Arc, David Bowie, Elvis Presley, Pat Benatar, Mary J. Blige, Jeff Bezos, Orlando Bloom, Patrick Dempsey, Dr. Martin Luther King, Aristotle Onassis, LL Cool J, Rod Stewart, Michelle Obama, Benjamin Franklin, Muhammad Ali, Kevin Costner, Cary Grant, Federico Fellini, Placido Domingo, Edgar Allen Poe, Sir Francis Bacon, Christiane Amanpour, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Bill Maher, Justin Timberlake, Steve Wynn and FDR. Wow! I’m in good company, no?
Many of my close friends are also January babies; therefore, we decided to have a month-long celebration that we refer to as “le janvier”. (French for January. It’s one of the few French words that I can remember. We just added the “le” because it makes the event sound chic and important.) “Le janvier” involves lots of shopping, partying, a little wine sampling (!), and in true jet set fashion, as much traveling as I can squeeze into my schedule. As you well know, we brought in the New Year in Miami; other stops this month include Las Vegas, L.A. and London.
Well, no time to chat. We’re off to celebrate! Send me a happy birthday wish!
Weather… It’s a bitch.Yes, I know that we Americans love few things more in life than to discuss ever-changing weather patterns, but really, it can be about so much more.It’s about life.I just find it interesting after my trip to Miami and after living in the south of France, both places where the weather is typically gorgeous and the people are laid back; life is just very different from say, where I am from, New York.Not that NY has harsh weather by any stretch of the imagination, but it does get cold there and most urbanites spend a lot of time outdoors walking from place to place (home, subway, work, grocery store, etc.). I just can’t help but wonder about its affects on people’s overall attitudes and thoughts on life.
New Yorkers are very concerned about getting somewhere and are usually in a hurry to do so.Whether they’re headed for work, to have fun, or to get ahead in life, they are always in some mode of transit.Those in warmer climates just are.They are where they are; it does not seem to matter if that is where they want to be or not but they have resigned themselves to enjoy or tolerate it either way.There is never this rush that you encounter in other places.I don’t know, just a guess.Let me know if you have any thoughts on it, too.
Today’s Annoyance: Unnecessarily mean people Mantra of the Day: I want to be evil. - Eartha Kitt
When I was growing up, I was practically a Pollyanna. I really didn’t like giving people attitude. Even now, I’m happy and positive most days, lost in my own thoughts; ready, willing and able to spread a little bit of sunshine. Increasingly, I have resorted to my inner bitch to deal with many of the people and circumstances that life has thrown my way.
I’ve reached the conclusion that people simply ask for it. I’ve also come to realize that there’s a little bit of inner bitch in all of us. No matter how nice, spiritual or tolerant you may be, it’s in there. And there’s nothing wrong with letting it out.
I’m not saying that you should go out, looking for a fight. I’m just saying that you should stand up for yourself. Maybe there would be fewer assholes in the world if these people knew that they couldn’t get away with running over others with their funky attitudes. And, it’s not always about swearing or being loud. Sometimes a witty or sarcastic remark said in a normal tone will do just fine. The perfect exit never hurts either. Anyone ever watch the character Tanya Turner on “Footballers’ Wives”? Utter perfection. For other pointers, you might also want to pull out episodes of Dynasty and watch Joan Collins work. (Not that her bitchiness was ever kept at bay.) And there's always the venerable Wilhelmina Slater, Ugly Betty's preeminent bitch.
Here’s an example of one of my lovely little “inner bitch” moments. It occurred while I was in graduate school in France. This horrid little waste of skin - named Kimi, of all things – had the audacity to refer to me “an old commoner” to someone who was speaking with me at the time. (European socialites can be much more vicious than their North American sisters.) There was no chance of me letting her slide. Oh no! You see, this was her third strike. My first thought was to bitch slap her but… I refrained. Instead, I offered her this: “You should hope to look this good without surgery when you reach your thirties. And, I’d rather be a commoner than a common whore like you.” With that, I offered my good-byes to our mutual acquaintance, turned on my heel and walked away with a smirk on my face.
As with anything, pick your battles. I’d suggest against being a bitch to your boss or someone on whom you depend; that is, unless you’ve already got the next best thing lined up.
Smooches.
[IMAGES: Courtesy of Footballerswives.tv, Inthemix.com.au, UglyBettyShowOnline.com]
Today’s Annoyance: Stupid people Mantra of the Day: Trust your inner bitch.
Fierce, Fabulous & Finance: Huh? These three words may not go together in most contexts, but they describe to a tee our contributing columnist Ava Pierce. She is already a big deal in Europe and it is about time that this name gets dropped more often Stateside so you can learn more about the woman behind the headlines. To introduce readers to Ava’s unique perspective, her best friend, publicist and reformed club kid, Simon Royston, will put her on the hot seat in a way that few would not dare. Simon Royston ("SR") So, my darhling Ava, you have lived a more than a lifetime over the course of the past year: a prince, blow ups, money, the Riviera, the paparazzi… Please explain to our readers what has happened. Ava Pierce ("AP") Well, sweetie, it is nice to see you, too. I see you waste no time with pleasantries and dive right into the dirt. That is usually how I like to operate too so I can’t hate. So it all started about a year ago when my wildly successful hedge fund blew up and lost more money than I can count. That same day, my husband decided to refer to our marriage as a ‘situation’ that he no longer wanted to be a part of. In response, I moved to the French Riviera (great reaction, right?) in an attempt to get my life back on track but that is when the real drama ensued.
SR: You did go to university while you were out there, no? Or was that just a figment of my imagination. You know us queens sometimes get our jetsetters confused.
AP: Yes, I did decide to go to graduate school not only to learn something but to get the fuck out of New York without seeming like a lunatic. Even a woman in her thirties is allowed to have a fit of irresponsibility, don’t ya think?
SR: Next question: So who is this prince charming of yours? Is he really a prince charming? Or just a toad?
AP: Honestly, I have not decided on my final verdict yet. In the meantime, let’s just say that he is somewhere between the two: more like a princely toad. SR: What will you being doing next? Is your life still a chaotic mess? And do you plan to stay in the Riviera?
AP: As for my life, it is still chaotic, but less of a mess. I think that I have managed to get myself back on my feet again, moving forward. As for the French Riviera, I think I’ve fallen in love but, as always, I reserve the right to change my mind.
SR: Now that we know the facts, let’s try to get to know the girl. Name five of your favorite things.
AP: Money, men, shopping, being spontaneous, café au laits, and getting my way.
SR: That is six things darling. I thought you were in finance and could count.
AP: You should know better than anyone that you always get more than you bargain for with me… SR: Touché. What was the singular turning point in your life that transformed you from a boring number cruncher to fiercely fabulously?
AP: Meeting my husband Tom in a café in Paris. He taught me to let loose and not to worry about what other people think and to be more spontaneous. Well, there was also that time that I met you. Life surely has not been boring since then.
SR: If you were to marry your princely toad, what would be your first act as a fierce princess?
AP: To ban Crocs from my kingdom. I don’t understand what people are thinking when they choose to put those things on their feet.
SR: What is your life philosophy?
AP: Keep running, don’t let up, and never let them see you sweat.
SR: Last question, what can people expect from your blog?
AP: I will be bringing the readers on my adventures around the world, introducing them to interesting people that will shed new light on old perspectives. It will be fun; part storytelling, part mental escape, part rant session where I will sound off to the readers, and they can throw their opinions right back at me. Sound good?
I'm a 30-something career woman who's new to the jet set lifestyle. I've got attitude to spare and opinions about everything.
If you are interested in advertising, product reviews or guest blog opportunities, drop me a line @: ava at avapierce dot com.
Welcome to my world!!
