Who decides what is "age appropriate"?

Monday, February 16, 2009

Who decides what is "age appropriate"?

Today’s Annoyance: Bad taste

Mantra of the Day: I’ll wear what I want and you’ll like it!

Should a 60-year-old wear a mini skirt? Should babies ever wear suits? How about men over 50 wearing skin-tight shirts, or pre-teens wearing stilettos? Should women of a certain age no longer wear their hair long? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Who gets to decide though? Society, perhaps? Screw society! Who are “they” anyway? No, I’m not kidding; who are they?

I’m always amazed when I hear someone say that something is or is not “age appropriate”? I was shopping in Santorini, Greece with this really fabulous South African woman who was in her 70s. She reminds me a lot of Jackie O in her later years. Anyway, she mentioned to me that she needed to have her hair cut because it was “far too long for a woman of her age”. OK, I can see why the sight of grandma in a mini might be a bit chilling but why on Earth is long hair age inappropriate for a more mature woman? I seriously want to know where these unwritten rules come from because some of them seem pretty stupid.

I’m much less concerned about age-appropriateness than I am about general clothing crimes. Here are a few rules that I think should be made into laws and heavily enforced:

* No exposed underwear! If I see one more exposed thong or some guy’s pants belted below his boxer shorts, I just might start screaming. (Punishment – daily wedgies for guys and granny panties for the ladies.)

* Anyone who pays large sums of money to look unkempt should be made to wear the clothing of an unwashed homeless person. Forever.

* Anyone who wears Crocs (and I mean, anyone!) and people who pair Ugg boots with shorts should be forced to wear Hobbit feet (think “Lord of the Rings”).

You know I want to hear from you!